Thematic Essays by the Author

Oral Sex as a Kick Start of a Relationship

Oral Sex as a Kick Start of a Relationship

These days we all try to simplify our lives, and inhibitions are not in fashion. If we want something, we like to get it fast; it's the ideal life strategy.

The same is true about personal relationships: most people don't want any complications; however, we're all human, with our own gimmicks. That's why strategies are important, an here's one of them.

Oral sex at an early stage of a relationship

It's well known that any emotions experienced together are a strong bond, and positive emotions in particular. Imagine that you meet a person, try to have regular sex and fail. It often happens when you try to make love with a new partner. Imagine now that you have treated your new acquaintance to a super blowjob or cunnilingus, giving him/her incredible pleasure – which is, of course, much simpler. Do you think your partner will refuse to see you again? Suppose you've experienced an incredible lick or a mind-blowing suck. Are you going to hide from such person and refuse to see him/her again? Do you have too many pleasures in life?

It's as simple as that. If you want to hook a person, go for oral sex, for it's much more reliable than the regular one, and pleasure is always bonding. It's up to you how to treat this piece of advice: as a joke or as dead serious.

If serious, let's begin with the main thing: Safety

If you have no abrasions in your mouth, if you have normal eyesight and sense of smell, and if you stay on the alert, your risks from oral sex are actually lower than from vaginal or anal one; however, these risks exist, so keep the following things in mind.

Since you can see where your mouth goes, all the abnormalities are right there in front of your eyes. You don't need to point a flashlight there and stare, but a quick "survey" is recommended, especially if you don't trust your partner completely. Rash, breakouts or reddening in the genital area are warning signs.

You have all the "goodies" right in front of your nose, you will detect any unpleasant odor. It's a bad sign, don't neglect it.

If something makes you uneasy, you can always reverse the process – it's actually much easier than unspreading the legs you have already spread. Pretend that you felt awkward all of a sudden, and then flee.

If you visit your dentist regularly, have no abrasions in your mouth and don't suffer from gum bleeding, the chance of a virus getting into your blood during oral sex is minimal. Still, it's a good idea to rinse your mouth afterwards, and it's very easy to do it. Keep a special anticeptic liquid at hand, together with a condom, make it your personal ground rule, just to be on the safe side.

If you were the recipient, rather than the giver, of pleasure, once you've finished, sneak away to the WC and sanitize yourself promptly with the same liquid. And, naturally, if your mucosa THERE is not intact, don't let anyone's mouth or tongue anywhere near it.

As you see, oral sex safety guidelines are simple and minimal, much more minimal than in regular sex. And if you're a woman and treat him to a blowjob with a condom on, then, really... the risks, of course, are always there, you need to keep it in mind, but that's what life is about, sometimes it results in death, there's nothing to be done about it.

To sum it up, if you take informed attitude to oral sex, it's safer than the regular one, while no less satisfying. Let's go on with this idea in mind.

Oral Sex as a Kick Start of a Relationship

Attitude to oral sex and its availability

A lot of people are more easy-going about oral sex than full-scale one; once relaxed, no one is going to say no to it, providing you feel mutual attraction and trust.

If you're a woman, place your hand on his fly while locked in an embrace. After that you can stroke and fondle, unzip his fly, let your fingers dive mischievously there; after a while extract his penis and then... reach out for it with your lips. The chance that he would say no, providing you don't pressure him and turn it into a game, is minimal.

If you're a man, while kissing her, you can increase the scope of your caresses, stroking her lower and lower; then you can kneel down, pat and kiss her legs, moving your lips upwards, than pushing up her skirt... If you both feel mutual attraction, if you personally look well-groomed and she's not particularly fastidious and a little drunk, chances are high that she won't push you away. "Well, what's wrong with it?" her inner voice would whisper.

You can get the same treatment from your partner if s/he is fairly uninhibited. Oral caresses? Big deal!

The probability that a person would agree to oral sex is much higher than that s/he would jump right into your bed. All you need to do is to please him/her with your oral caresses, and then either s/he would reciprocate, or you would get him/her hooked.

Most people are more likely to consent to oral caresses than immediate sex, even if if it's you very first encounter; men, in particular, definitely feel so about a blowjob.

A very typical – and instructive – story is the one that happened to the former world's tennis champion Boris Becker and a Russian emigree Angela Yermakova. An experienced womanizer and a married man at the time, Boris got off his guard at a party and let Angela give him a suck. It happened in a pantry of a London restaurant, not in a particularly romantic way. "It's nice to have an attractive girl suck you," thought Becker, even though he saw Angela for the first time in his life. However, Angela proved to be a smart girl: she spat out his semen and injected it into her vagina. As the result, she gave birth to a daughter and sued Becker for a substantial alimony she's now been collecting for many years. Later the unfortunate Becker would admit that it was nothing more than a blowjob after a few drinks, and as for the further developments, they were worse than his worst nightmare.

What I'm driving at is that the attitude to oral sex tends to be very easy-going, it doesn't take much to talk a person into it.

Oral Sex as a Kick Start of a Relationship

On sensible outlook

It's not that I'm pesruading you to lick each and every woman you meet or give a blowjob to every other gentleman; my goal is to improve your sexuality and enhance your pleasure from dealing with the opposite sex.

Even though oral sex is less hazardous than vaginal or anal one, it's better to practice it with a partner you trust.

Boris Becker's story has hopefully shown you that any intimate relationship is a relationship, and you should use your common sense to evaluate your risks. Anything that pertains to sexuality can have life-changing consequences, there're lots of examples to illustrate it.

We will discuss it in more detail in the next article, called "On the Magic of a Blowjob and the Value of a Cunnilingus".

All of this is described in detail in my book Oral Mischief Sex Calalogue, a catalogue of sex positions that includes 42 positions for oral sex and additional tips on related practicalities.

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About the Author

Contemporary outlook on intimate relations between men and women. Love, sex, freedom, restrictions. That is the sphere of my interests both as a writer and philosopher. I analyze, write, rationalize, offer solutions. Solutions for happiness, love quests and love preservation, solutions that help to enjoy life.

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Combination of hot eroticism with modern philosophy. It arouses, excites and opens up your mind. I deliberately provoke my readers.

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