Nowadays many people talk and complain about marital sex. How to maintain one`s family, how to seduce one`s husband, how to diversify marital sex… There are constantly new books, articles and courses on this subject. That, of course, is good and important, as sexual dissatisfaction is the main reason of divorces. I know what I am talking about. I know and I want to share my experience, who knows maybe I will help some people to maintain a family.
So, let us get to the point. For sure, I’ll not discover the continents again, and there won’t be anything new for you, but sometimes I feel the need to unscramble some things. I mean some individuals who still don’t know how to bring variety to the bedroom. Boredom of family relationship is too dangerous thing. It even can result in divorce. Besides that, it’s much better to live with delight instead of vegetating and regretting unfaithfulness.
WELL, here are 12 shelves, i.e. steps that could lead you to paradise (I mean your family bedroom). Are you laughing? But probably you had such feeling at the beginning of coupledom. And now?.. There you go, let’s get serious about this issue.
1. New poses
However it seems to be rudely, I’ll start with scratch. If you feel good regarding new poses, continue easily with the next step. I’m going to explain to less assured people: change of poses is very simple task. Simple yet fascinating, and effective for combating boredom in bed if you’re creative.
Numerous catalogues of poses are available now, spend some time reviewing them and you’ll find many interesting things. Don’t allow yourself “automatic” sex with one and the same poses. Habitualness is the main enemy of emotions since it deadens feelings.
Although, take into account that new poses mean new technique, unusual angle of penis in vagina, specific physical action on one or another area… This is particular interest. Don’t conceive change of poses as something machinelike or acrobatics. Otherwise it’s similar to evaluation of quantity instead of quality of dishes in a restaurant. Be gastronomes, try to feel deeply every new pose, to understand how does it bring such pleasure. Try to be creative changing sex poses. However, there is place for fun at the first stage too. For example, try one new pose every time or open the catalogue at random – this will be a kind of sex-roulette.
Don’t buy ten catalogues at once. Accustom yourself to visit a shop and purchase new book once or twice a month or search on the Internet. It will be more interesting and effective.
2. New places for sex
Search of such places has many possibilities, and what is more, it’s very fascinating. Do it in front of a mirror, on a kitchen table, standing in a lobby, sitting on a window-sill, on a balcony… even if it’s not too comfortable. Originality and suddenness are more important, but extremeness arouses passion. At the same time, spontaneity plays important role. Take any blaze of passion as a gift from above, forget about everything except sex. Only you, your partner, and appetite; all other things should fade into insignificance.
Arrange a competition. At least once a week offer new place for sex in your house in turns. The one who cannot find something new loses. Punishment should be unusual, for example, putting out the rubbish in the nuddy. After you’ll be at the end of resources, visit a furniture store and purchase something new. There’s no need to buy new bed; for example, you could choose strong ironing board. I am joking, as you understand, but the idea should be clear.
Besides that, there is your office, back rows in cinema, car wash services, fitting-rooms in a shop, benches in parks, back seat in a taxi… the list could consist of hundred points. But the most interesting thing is collecting such places on holidays. Make it a rule and get a special photograph library. You’ll get great memoirs late in life.
3. Sex toys, cosmetics and specific furniture
The assortment in this field is very rich. More and more interesting things appear. New materials, new technologies, and new opportunities. The opportunities are much greater than several years ago. You can complement your sex essentially using sex toys. You can use sex furniture, sex machines, and other devices, and do together anything including sketches of group sex if you have enough place. Such activities could be very exciting in combination with role plays.
But! There is one “BUT’. If we speak about sex toys, and cosmetics in particular, please remember that there’re many low quality and outdated objects. Don’t be disappointed after bad purchase. Be careful in relation to Internet-shops. Such kind of goods is much customized. If you are not familiarized with it yet, don’t be in a hurry, visit shops, don’t economize, and consult experts. Probably, you’ll need some time to feel what matches you the best, to develop your own style. But believe me, it’s worth doing.
4. Sexy clothes and lingerie
This is modern theme in progress. So many models, materials, and styles for any constitution and of any size are available that almost every woman can become a sex-bomb or vice versa – a virgin schoolgirl, if you prefer. But here role plays will be required.
There is one important rule regarding sexy lingerie: the “dish” should be served sensibly. Don’t overkill, be moderate, don’t overfeed your partner. It would be better for a woman not to be obtrusive since the main idea is to excite. Take off your dress and put on a transparent dressing-gown after a party or during a weekend… Don’t demonstrate diligently, just play. Imagine that you’re playful pussy cat, and gambol for yourself. If you will enjoy it, your man will jump at the bite. Don’t doubt it.
5. Oral sex
Today only a faulty in sexual meaning person doesn’t make practice of oral sex. I mean men and women. Oral sex is like kisses. If you are not good at kisses or if you don’t like them, probably you have had a bad teacher or your parents didn’t pay enough attention to this issue. OK, jokes aside, so many possibilities are available here - reasonably good literature, useful trainings. Don’t be lazy, sharpen your skills, believe me, it will pay off. Practiced tongue can play with the body of your beloved just as well as a stick on a violin. Furthermore, it is so tasty! Try it better if you still doubt.
6. Anal sex and anal stimulation
Anus of a man and of a woman is a separate theme that becomes more and more popular. You don’t have to love it and to practice it regularly, but you should try it at least sometimes. First of all, it is variety, but secondly, our sexuality changes essentially in course of time. Things that seemed to be unacceptable or unpleasant in the past, today can entice you away. Introduce anal stimulation into practice of your sexual relationship, and you will enrich your sex. If your man will like it too, if he has sensitive anus, others can envy your couple. You will get so many opportunities for pleasant experiments in combination with sex toys.
Here are two specific conditions – hygiene and cautiousness, don’t forget about it.
7. Dominating, bondage, sadomasochism (BDSM) and fisting
These’re different styles, and of course, all of them are recherché. It will be easier if we group them together, although each one is very capacious. What they have in common is dependency and confidence. It goes without saying that reasonable actions are important too. Dominating is softer; it’s psychology more than physiology. Bondage could be called fastening. But sadomasochism combines psychology and physiology. Classic fisting stands alone – clear physiology. Different combinations of these styles are possible, often they are called BDSM.
BDSM is a separate direction of sexual culture; it provides numerous opportunities for sex-creation.
There’re different types of fisting, lots of people are fascinated with it. Thus, for example, popularity of vaginal fisting can be explained by the fact that some women like exquisite feeling of completion.
As it was mentioned before, these types of sex are recherché. There’re no many people who like sexual brutality. You don’t have to practice it, but you should try it carefully. Could be that it’s an opportunity to expose your hidden potential.
8. Erotic games for adults
The task of these games is to help you become more unselfconscious and to implement all off the abovementioned steps trying something new and unusual. Sometimes it’s not that easy to try such things or to offer them to your partner. Others just don’t have enough fantasy and experience. Well, for example, how to try one or another sex toy, how to resolve to experiment with anal stimulation? Or even easier. How to choose new pose or which combination of poses to try… or how to start talking about sex with a partner, how to carry him away to the world of pleasure? For this matter erotic games for adults are like a magic wand. This is a game, and everything will be easy.
There’re numerous and different games, for example, English “Monogamy”, Canadian “It’s all about SEX!”, French “in love”, a range of Dutch games “Tease & please”, a range of Belgian games “lovestuff”, and a range of Russian games “Forfeits”. You’re welcome to choose whatever you like, and remember that such games afford you incredible number of opportunities.
9. Sexual role playing games
These’re different games with different tasks. These games are fascinating and creative – a small performance for two, when a couple personates characters predefined by a scenario. Sex fantasy is fundamental for a plot, and both partners personate unusual characters. Herewith the participants of the game feel as they have intimacy with “new partner” or sex in “uncommon environment”. As a result, you get possibility to put into practice your secret desires or try something original, see yourself and your partner in a new light.
But please take into account one thing. There’re basic rules you should follow during such games. The rules are not complicated, but still you have to know them. Role playing games are with a spark of potential for any couple. They bring creativity, and originality.
Read more information about role-playing games in the article “Role playing games. How to diversify marital sex”.
10. New sex techniques
By this we mean Tantric sex, Taoist techniques, specific breathing techniques, relaxation techniques, pelvic floor muscle training, and exercises that improve sexuality and stamina… generally, everything that expand our sexual opportunities, energetics, and sensibility. But don’t cherish illusions regarding “Eastern techniques”. They’re full of contrivedness, and things without practical meaning that won’t fit modern human. If you’re going to visit some trainings or are reading some books, be careful not to lose money and time. Keep within limits and experiment with yourself carefully, however remember that our sexuality hides many undiscovered things – great potential.
11. Rest on specific resorts for adults
There’re special resorts for adults available, i.e. resorts penetrated with erotic and sex. For sure, the resorts are not mentioned for tight-laced people. At the same time, those individuals who like relaxedness probably will love spending time there. Typically, in such places you’re not allowed to have sex in restaurants only, but all other places are at your service. You’re free choosing clothes. You can even not to wear them at all. If you enjoy sex in public or like observing sexual pleasure of other people, then these resorts are mentioned for you.
One or another would find this idea too bloody minded or courageous, but the reality is that it’s amusing enough. These resorts will make your love come down. Please choose between “Desire” in Mexico, “Cap d’Agde” in France, “Hedonism” in Jamaica, specific round trips or other options that become more and popular in recent times. Try it, and maybe you’ll like it too.
12. Swinging, group sex or its performance
And finally the hardest step, let’s call it acid condiment for an intimate dish. This is a complicated issue, yet very interesting in terms of experiments. If you conceive it as an original game for adults, it won’t seem to be too terrible. Those people who practice swinging or group sex don’t worry about unfaithfulness and monotony. Of course, I mean people who practice it with their eyes open. If you would like to try it, do it step-by-step, don’t hurry. Familiarize with swinging websites, visit special resort and swingers club. Nobody will force you, you’ll have time to understand if you’re interested in it or no. Just remember that there’re no many high-quality clubs (i.e. among free entry clubs), don’t make a mistake by visiting bad one – probably you’ll be disappointed off the reel. There’re no many clubs of such kind in Russia, however you can find them in Holland and Czech Republic. The clubs are nice, safe, with visitors who’re presentable enough, however they won’t look very attractive. But that’s particularity of generally available swingers clubs.
If you mull it over from time to time, but intimacy with foreigners doesn’t seem to be attractive for you, you could try role play “Group sex” using additional sex toys. Correct attitude of mind and an appropriate subject will provide you feelings of real “disgrace”. Probably, this will be enough to satisfy your secret desires. And be sure that sexual relationship between you and your partner will be enhanced after such experience.
Each of these 12 steps is very intensive. Only short excursus is provided here. You can choose what you like, experiment, and try. One thing, several things, or maybe all of them step by step. If some of steps conflict with your views or seem to be unacceptable, that’s fine, you don’t have to violate yourself. There’re still other steps for perfection. Even if you choose just few of them, that will be enough.
But you should remember that no pain no gain, if you don’t develop your sexual life, you degrade it, and your life is not full-featured anymore. These are laws of nature, and there is nothing to be done.