Thematic Essays by the Author

How to Feel About Oral Sex. A Contemporary Outlook.

How to Feel About Oral Sex. A Contemporary Outlook.

To begin with, I'm not trying to suggest that you lick all the ladies you meet or give a blowjob to every other gentleman; my goal is to improve your sexuality and enhance your pleasure from dealing with the opposite sex.

Even though oral sex is less hazardous than vaginal or anal one, it's better to practice it with a partner you trust. If you're particularly squeamish or hygiene-oriented, put it off until the time you get married. But once you get married, make sure you practice oral sex, for the reasons stated below.

Nice and easy

To begin with, a lot of people don't even think that it's sex, which is, actually, a plus, for, unlike sex, it is not perceived as something forbidden or improper. Some even believe that both cunnilingus and blowjob are more along the lines of kisses and intimate caresses, rather than full-scale sex. Thus, when the former US President Bill Clinton was cornered in the Monica Lewinsky episode, he stated right away that he didn't consider a blowjob to be a sexual act.

However, this attitude doesn't really change the essence of things, and let's call a spade a spade. Oral sex is a positive, easily available experience, that's why it is gaining popularity. There're more and more self-help books and workshops dedicated to it, there are more and more techniques and fewer restrictions; it's easy to visualize that in the nearest future a lick or a suck will be equaled to a peck on the cheek -- a simple token of affection.

This is, naturally, a joke; still, the attitude to intimate relations is becoming more and more open-minded, while intimate freedom is already a norm. Modern people think first about the quality of their lives, and their worldview is determined by this priority. Whether it is good or bad, depends on personal values, but it doesn't change the main fact: these days pleasure is our number one value.

The same is true about the intimate relations between men and women: the more pleasure we derive from a relationship, the more stable and lasting we can expect it to be. It doesn't really matter what we think about oral sex.

It's always a pleasure

If you have certain skills, you can always give a quick pleasure to your partner, even if your partner is tired and doesn't feel like making love in earnest. It's always a pleasure, same as coffee in bed. It's a token of affection, it's sensuous, it tastes good. Good taste is an issue, though, for it depends of your sex skills.

How to Feel About Oral Sex. A Contemporary Outlook.

You should have absolutely no doubts that once you learn to delight your "second half" with oral caresses, your love will achieve new wonderful quality. Sometimes your partner is tired and wants to relax; sometimes s/he has no time for foreplay or regular sex, or there's no opportunity for this kind of lovemaking. And here's your happiness recipe: oral sex.

Do you want your partner to feel grateful that you're by his/her side, do you like to feel desirable, do you enjoy the idea that you can give your "second half" unforgettable pleasure? For all of these, oral sex is a must. Remember that if you're able to give your partner sexual satisfaction, s/he would not transgress. If you can offer him/her a variety of delights in bed, if your tongue, mouth and lips are a source of constant pleasure, you can rest assured that nothing would threaten your relationship.

It's a quick, easily available pleasure

To unzip a fly or dive under a skirt is way easier than to straddle a man or make a woman spread her legs. Indeed, it's much easier to reach into a person's underwear than to undress him/her completely. You can run your fingers through your partner's groin without anyone noticing, and you will hardly get stained or soiled while having oral sex. This sex is more clandestine, wherever you practice it -- on a park bench, in a car, in a dark corner... the licked or sucked person can cover up his partner's head and keep the surrounding space under survey. Regular sex is a different story, it's hard to do it unnoticed.

That means that a blowjob or a cunnilingus is a ready and simple solution, which is obvious. Besides, when you do it outside your house it's particularly emotional, which enhances your pleasure.

How to Feel About Oral Sex. A Contemporary Outlook.

Your pleasure is guaranteed

As a rule, your chances of having an orgasm from oral sex are higher than from regular sex.

If you're a guy and you're treating her to a cunnilingus, you probably know that a clitoral orgasm is easier to achieve than the vaginal one; besides, a lot of girls masturbate with a finger, and thus train themselves to achieve this kind of orgasm. You don't need super skills to warm her up thoroughly, to prepare her for penetration and full-scale sex, -- if not bring her all the way to her orgasm. The possibility that you will grant your partner her pleasure using your tongue only is much higher than if you just try to spread her legs.

If you're a woman and you give him a suck, you will bring almost any guy to a climax -- providing you have certain skills. These skills are easy to obtain. Many guys find it harder to come from copulation than from a blowjob; besides, very often their orgasm from oral sex is way more vivid.

If you're a guy being sucked, you certainly know that an experienced woman will most probably bring you to a grande finale. Providing you don't get interrupted, though.

If you're a woman with a sensitive clitoris and you're being treated to a cunnilingus, you certainly understand that an experienced partner will make your pleasure unbelievable. Your chances of having an orgasm from regular sex are actually lower.

It goes without saying that if you plan to have oral sex, you need to wash yourself first, preferably with a scented shower gel.

Special energy of oral sex

Whatever attitude you have to Oriental teachings, it's becoming increasingly popular to place spiritual energy in the heart of all things.

How to Feel About Oral Sex. A Contemporary Outlook.

Most Oriental teachings endow oral sex, and 69 position in particular, with special energy. They claim that this kind of sex ensures fine energy exchange that revitalizes and rejuvenates both man and woman. If you use this position to its best advantage, you can initiate stable positive changes in the organisms of both partners.

Position 69 is not really everything. Both Tantra and Tao have special attitude to oral sex. While in the Western world it was, until recently, considered unnatural and unacceptable, in the East the value, peculiarities and techniques of "orogenital sex" were openly discussed since the times of Kama Sutra; it's importance can't be overestimated.

You should try it - you won't be sorry

If you lack experience, if your intimate life is stalling or becoming lackluster, keep in mind that the techniques of oral sex are quite easy to master. Yet, same as in sex in general, psychological issues are way more important than technicalities. Once you start treating oral sex as something normal and valuable, once you discard your inhibitions, fears and unease, once you begin practicing it and catch the right spirit, you will soon get on the right track and embellish your intimate life with new pleasures.

If you're still at an early stage of your relationship, oral sex is a great pathway to quick bonding and mutual trust; if you've been together for a while, it will help to preserve your passions and add vigour to your love.

I don't know if you found this article convincing, but if you were reluctant to try oral sex or underestimated its importance, I hope you will keep its content in mind.

In the next article "Oral Sex as a Kick Start of a Relationship" we will talk about oral sex at the initial stage of a relationship. It's a smart idea, isn't it?

All of this is described in detail in my book Oral Mischief Sex Calalogue, a catalogue of sex positions that includes 42 positions for oral sex and additional tips on related practicalities.

Thematic Book

eBook“FANTY Kamasutra” Series.
“Oral Mischief” Sex Positions Catalogue

Sex Catalogue for those who love reciprocal pleasures. 42 ways your lips and tongue can make your partner happy.

Sex Catalogue for those who love reciprocal pleasures. 42 ways your lips and tongue can make your partner happy.

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Contemporary outlook on intimate relations between men and women. Love, sex, freedom, restrictions. That is the sphere of my interests both as a writer and philosopher. I analyze, write, rationalize, offer solutions. Solutions for happiness, love quests and love preservation, solutions that help to enjoy life.

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