Andrey Rider, Creative Biography
I hope that the length of this essay won't put you off; I just want to explain why I believe that you would benefit from my creative work, how I embarked on my writing career and how I can help the others. On the other hand, what makes me better than the others, why do I think that my novel The MASK or the Formula of a Perfect Wife was worth writing?
Rather than beat around the bush, let me put it in plain words: I'm a disappointed SINNER. I’m disappointed in my own promiscuity. I've been cheating on my wife for ages, and eventually I've realized that it is wrong. Not that it’s immoral (who cares about morality these days), but downright stupid. Adultery is the result of boredom; searching for novelty, people cheat on their partners. But where does adultery take you? It's a risky, expensive and nerve-wrecking business, and the pleasures you derive out of it are transitory. Excitement soon turns into routine, and... you keep running around in circles, waiting for life to give you yet another slap in the face. As they say, pleasures always come at a price; this is particularly true about illicit sex.
I know what I'm talking about. I'm a sexually active male who has been unfaithful for years. I fucked my wife's friends, my PAs and employees, I had mistresses by the dozen... and even a secretly rented apartment where I kept two female students. I've seen it all in my 30 years of shameless debauchery.
Don't spit at me, don't click Delete the moment you see my face! For I've repented and, putting my sad experience to a good use, I want to teach the others how to make their family life permanently happy, how to stay away from blundering and chasing elusive pleasures.
I'm 55, yet I'm in great sexual and physical shape; I'm not getting didactic just because I've grown old. It's just that my vast experience and yet another personal crisis made me think, and then see light. Here’s the story of my enlightenment, which is closely connected with my creative work.
I have moved to Europe, but I was born in Russia, a country with very liberal attitude to sex. You can talk openly about your sexual desires, and no one would accuse you of sexual harassment. Nobody minds you being straightforward, as long as you show tact and respect. There's a shortage of males in Russia, while women are gorgeous (beauty genes have not been burned out by the fires of Inquisition).
When I was young, I had my fair share of girlfriends and quite a lot of dealings with prostitutes; at 25 I got married for the first time. This marriage lasted for just over a year, then we got divorced. I don't even remember whether I cheated on my first wife; anyway, our marriage was a disappointment. I had my fun for three more years, and married again when I was 30; this was a marriage of love, and it lasted.
Yet, as any permanent couple, we ended up being bored in bed. We had great kids, mutual understanding, strong bond, shared values... all of these things were there and getting stronger, yet our sex life became monotonous and bland, which is quite a common occurrence. That's when I started living a double sex life. It all began with prostitutes on business trips, then came brothels, mistresses, stag parties with friends, secret apartments with kepties -- most healthy, well-to-do, uninhibited males in Russia have the same lifestyle. Actually, it's a common practice in many countries, for instance, in France and Belgium (with certain local features). Even the US just pretends to be prim; people there routinely cheat on each other; God-fearing Americans are rarities; no wonder that adultery is a common feature of American soap operas.
My life was most satisfying, and all of a sudden I felt an urge to write. I worked in advertising then, and money was not a problem. I helped a friend to secure an important contract and, to show his gratitude, he treated me to a special night out. A penthouse at a five-star hotel, lots of wine and caviar, and of course, the girls. Anyone who ever organized such a party would agree that mercenary love is very boring. You fuck one wench, then another... no emotions, no thrill, it's just like gorging on good food and burping afterwards.
"Why don't you think up a game?" asked my friend who knew that I like creative challenges. "Rather than just bang the girls, we'll have some fun." That's how it all started, I decided to try this kind of creative work. My first venture was a Fanty game for group sex. The game was about drawing random assignments that become more and more explicit. You start with telling a story, then someone removes an item of clothing, someone else bares his buttocks, does some petting, proceeds to doing something else to someone, somehow... It was a great game.
I was thrilled -- by the games, not by group sex. I'm not a groupie, I prefer sensuous tete-a-tete kind of intimacy; that's why I decided to design some games for couples. Often enough people have no idea how to go about trying a new thing and, besides, they are too shy to offer something new to a partner. A game makes it easier to overcome these inhibitions.
It took me two years to collect and analyze the data from all over the world. Ironically, my wife brought me the first game from France. I studied German, Canadian, American, British, French, Dutch, Belgian, Russian games, even the games for gay and lesbian couples... then I read through five-year collections of Cosmopolitan, Elle, Maxim, Playboy... I summed up all the data pertaining to adult games and came up with my own products. It turned out to be way more complicated than I had thought. There was a great shortage of really interesting ideas; as the result, out of the 816 assignments in my Fanty games I had to come up with ca. 700, using my own creative talents.
I published the first, second, third version ofcouple sex games. In those days the set consisted of cards with assignments, dice and accessories. I sold 300,000 hard copies in eight years, and then I moved on to applications for phones and tablets. I designed 3 applications that include 17 games. The first one is for permanent couples that want to re-kindle their marital sex. The second one is a collection of scenarios for successful dates. The third one is for those who love uninhibited get-togethers. We now offer them in four languages (English, German, Spanish and Russian), on all the principal platforms; full-scale demo versions can be downloaded for free.
I won’t be overmodest: I’ve made a major contribution to the modern sex culture. This collection of adult games is really unique: it will take you from the first date all the way to hardcore experiments with sex toys in your family bedroom. Moving from game to game, starting with the mildest one, any couple would make a lot of discoveries. They would discover incredible sensations, and all the dealing on the side would look bland in comparison.
Fanty games feature illustrations that show sex positions; I decided to compile my own Catalogue. I've examined 18 different catalogues, selected the best positions they had to offer and added two more dozens from my own experience. And that's when I got yet another idea! What's the point of going through 221 positions if the most important thing in bed is the scenario of your lovemaking? It really matters where you start, how you proceed, what you do to change or intensify your sensations, to achieve either a vigorous or a relaxed climax. I came up with 300 scenarios for 300 positions. The final Catalogue includes 600 positions and sex combinations. It’s a unique illustrated catalogue, I had a brilliant artist working with me. Each combination is a sequence of several positions, they are all described in detail. You can browse through the catalogue using your phone, your tablet or a TV screen while you are in bed. It’s a real thrill. Now the bored permanent couples can diversify their lovemaking and try a lot of new things. It's way more exciting to do so with a person you trust, rather than with a whore or a gigolo.
While I worked on those games, I had to use my imagination, for I needed interesting assignments. Why not do a little bit of acting while fulfilling some of them? That's how I got interested in role playing games. Once again, I started with studying the existing products -- books, catalogues, collections of fantasies... I'm now finishing the e-version of my Collection of 200 role playing games. It's called Keyhole Secrets, and it is beautifully illustrated. This is going to be the largest collection of sex fantasies and sex game scenarios in the world. I doubt anyone would ever come up with more. Each game is a mini show for two actors, a sex fantasy come true. Your emotions will erupt, and you will completely re-evaluate your old partner. There's no need to take risks cheating on your partner, since in the game you can enact anything while playing your part.
As I worked on the scenarios, I tried to make them as lifelike as possible. I wrote 100 erotic short stories, and that's how Looking Through the Curtains collection came into being. These stories combine eroticism and psychology, it’s an attempt to turn sex fantasies into real stories; they sometimes verge on pornography, but I used this style deliberately. My illustrated stories will help each couple to get a better feel of the parts they are about to play in each role playing game. This is a great way to boost up your feelings and create the right mood.
I enjoyed creative writing; personally I find eroticism thrilling, plus I wanted to sum up my ideas. I began to analyze why people were unfaithful and marriages fell apart; I tried to figure out what a person needed to do to prevent it, to make a relationship flourish rather than wither. I set up a goal of coming up with a solution and developing a self-help strategy for permanent couples.
My drafts were eventually consolidated into my novel, The MASK or the Formula of a Perfect Wife; I wrote this book for those women who, after many years of marriage, want to remain the only ones for their husbands. This novel has its specific features, for the characters live in Russia and have a Russian mentality. Yet the philosophy of intimate relationships and the concept of sexuality and personal freedom I offer in my book are universal and apply to any modern person.
Actually, this novel is a self-help book, deliberately controversial and intentionally provocative, for my main goal is to make readers think and act, to offer them a strategy of strengthening their relationships.
Why should I enlarge on the story of my own life? The answer is quite simple. I want to stop the others from making the same mistakes I made while entertaining the illusion that by changing partners you can discover something new.
It's common knowledge that these days most families fall apart, and sexual frustration is the reason for most divorces; it’s not the only, yet the main one, this has been backed up by research in France, UK and USA. After 21 years of marriage, I ended up divorcing my second wife; as the result, my two sons live in a broken family. It’s quite a routine situation, and yet I feel that it is wrong, whatever the Belgians might say about adultery being a normal part of life.
I've learned the hard way that it is not normal, and I know the solution. If you have the right perception of sex, its value and importance, if you use the right approach to this side of your family life, you can keep discovering each other's sexuality forever, you can keep your passions ablaze and enjoy the endless novelty. We are all incredibly versatile in our sexuality, and each couple has a huge potential. But, apart from this understanding, you need the techniques that would help you to pour more oil to the flames of love. It seems to me that, even though I was not pursuing this specific creative goal, I took the right road. As a matter of fact, there’re lots of ways to diversify your lovemaking. My Fanty games, my Catalogue and my Collection of Role Playing Games are strategies that will help to warm up your love and rekindle your passions.
The MASK or the Formula of a Perfect Wife is a book that makes you think and analyze; in my subsequent books I will enlarge on the importance of family sex, on the hidden reserves of passion and on the strategies of self-improvement. There's no need to waste your time on the repetitions of one and the same situation if, at least in the beginning, you don't feel any mutual disappointment and you marriage is not just a passing whim. You won’t benefit from changing partners or cheating on the existing one.
Revolutions are a hot topic these days, but a revolution is not necessarily a good thing. Family crises, deserted children – these are the results of the sexual revolution. Personally, I don’t like it, and in this respect I would say I’m a counter-revolutionary.
Whatever you might think, I’m not a sexual maniac. I'm a versatile personality, with a wide range of interests.
I have four kids, I try to be a good father. My youngest son is two years old, my oldest daughter is thirty.
I have two college degrees, I wrote a thesis on management in advertising. I used to be an expert on the topic, making presentations at international congresses; whatever I do, I like to do it well.
I adore refined eroticism in art. My private collection of bronze pieces includes the works by many internationally recognized artists.
I'm an enthusiastic freerider, I've snowboarded in all the cult places of the world. I've been all over, from the Himalayas, Andes and Alaska to Greenland, New Zealand and Antarctic. I spend a lot of time in the Alps and know the area really well.
I love the sea and enjoy sailing around the island of Corfu in Greece. I have lots of favorite places there.
I prefer peace and quiet to the hustle and bustle of metropolises and large crowded beaches. I left St. Petersburg with its 5-million population not because I don't like Russia, but because I believe that the mountains and the sea are inspiring, while the large busy cities distract from creative work. Beautiful mountains, such as the Alps, a clean sea, such as the Ionic one, a small city, such as Riga, Latvia, or Kerkira, Greece, or Soelden, Austria – these are my things. That's where I spend most of my time, that's where I get inspired, that's where I work.
I'm a hard worker; I hope that it will make both my vast plans and my ambitions come true.